Where Is the Line Between a Preference for Feet and a Foot Fetish?

01 · Sexuality

Introduction

There is no sharp line. Between a preference, that is, liking feet, and a pronounced fetish there is a gradual transition. However, you can assess fairly well where you stand yourself with the help of a few questions. What matters is not how strongly feet appeal to you, but what role they play in your arousal.

02 · Sexuality

Why the Line Is Blurred

People do not experience their sexuality in pigeonholes. In my book, I therefore describe fetishism as a spectrum. For some people, a fetish is one additional stimulus among many; for others, it is an important or even the most important route to arousal. In between lies a wide range, and many people move back and forth along it over the course of their lives.

Research also shows how gradual the transition is. In studies by Giselle Rees and Justin Garcia, the majority of people who attribute an object fetish to themselves stated that they are sexually aroused and active even without their fetish object. The respondents had volunteered themselves, so it is not representative. But it shows that even many who describe themselves as fetishists do not necessarily need their object.

03 · Sexuality

A Small Self-Test

The following seven questions can help you place yourself. Answer them honestly for yourself with YES or NO. There are no right or wrong answers.

• Arousal. (A) Do feet trigger sexual arousal in you, or (B) do you simply find them beautiful?
• Frequency. (A) Do feet appear regularly in your sexual fantasies, or (B) only from time to time?
• Duration. (A) Has this fascination been with you for many years, or (B) is it rather new or fluctuating?
• Independence. (A) Do you respond to feet outside your relationship too, for example in everyday life, in films or in pictures, or (B) only during lovemaking?
• Specificity. (A) Can you describe quite precisely which feet, shapes, situations or details arouse you, or (B) are details irrelevant to you?
• Significance. (A) Would something important be missing for you during sex if feet played no role at all, or (B) would that not matter much to you?
• Fantasy. (A) Does the sight of a foot trigger a small story in your mind, a mood, a role, a scene, or (B) rather not?

04 · Sexuality

How You Can Interpret the Answers

If you answered most questions with B, much points only to a preference or liking. You like feet; they may enrich your sexuality, but they are not central. This is a form of appreciation that many people know.

If you answered many questions clearly with A, you are more likely to be in the realm of a fetish. Feet then have a particular, stable and often central function for your arousal.

The last question is especially revealing. After more than forty years with my own fetish, I am convinced that the actual arousal in a fetish usually does not arise only from the object itself. The foot or the shoe is the trigger. But arousal arises in the story that unfolds in the mind in response to it. Someone who knows this inner story in themselves, which can also connect to past memories, is more likely to have a fetish than a mere preference.

05 · Sexuality

A Special Case: Only Your Partner’s Feet

Some people find that they only find the feet of one very specific person appealing, usually those of their own female partner. The feet of strangers or pictures leave them cold. In this case, much points to an erotic preference that is tied to this person, and less to a fetish in the narrower sense. The foot is then part of what one loves about this person.

06 · Sexuality

Without a Sexual Component, It Is Not a Fetish

One further distinction is important. Those who find feet beautiful, enjoy massaging them or photograph them as a subject without feeling sexual arousal do not have a fetish. A fetish in the proper sense always has to do with sexual arousal.

07 · Sexuality

Why the Classification Is Less Important Than It Seems

Whether a preference or a fetish: for your life, the exact term is usually secondary. Neither is an illness. Since 2022, the World Health Organization has no longer listed fetishism as a diagnosis in its own right. Research also distinguishes between the interest itself, the associated fantasies, behaviour and the way someone describes themselves. You are therefore free to decide which word fits you.

More important than the label is that you understand yourself. Those who know what role feet play for them can talk about it better with a female partner, better assess what they want, and relate to themselves more calmly.