How do I separate a foot fetish from a job or everyday life in which feet play a role?

01 · Sexuality and everyday life

Introduction

By consciously separating your professional role from your private sexuality and setting clear rules for yourself that you uphold even when no one is watching. People with a foot fetish work in all kinds of professions, some of them involving direct contact with feet. That is not automatically a problem. However, it requires particular mindfulness, because the people you work with trust you.

02 · Sexuality and everyday life

Professions in which feet are part of the work

Feet play a role in more professions than one might initially think. In medical foot care, physiotherapy and massage, shoe retail, nail salons, orthopaedics, dance, sport, care work or, as in my case, fashion and advertising photography. In all these professions, people come to you with their feet because they need a service, treatment or advice. They are not part of your fantasy and have not consented to it.

03 · Sexuality and everyday life

What I have learned from my professional life

I worked as a photographer for over twenty years, many of those years with high heels as a subject; later, video productions were added. My fetish shaped my work, and my work shaped my fetish. Fashion photography even changed which shoes aroused me.

However, this close connection also had a darker side. At some point, my fetish had become embedded not only in our love life, but also in my working life. It took up so much space that it became a burden for my wife and me. From that I learned how important it is to have spaces where the fetish plays no role. For most professions, the workplace is precisely such a space.

04 · Sexuality and everyday life

Consciously taking on the professional role

It is helpful to consciously put on your professional role, almost like workwear. Before starting work, you can tell yourself: I am now a foot-care specialist, a saleswoman, a physiotherapist. This is now about the health, comfort or wishes of the person I am dealing with, not about me.

Small rituals can help with this, such as a fixed routine at the beginning of every appointment or a deliberate thought while washing your hands. It sounds banal, but it helps direct attention where it belongs.

05 · Sexuality and everyday life

Clear rules that always apply

Regardless of profession, a few principles apply without exception:

Many professions have their own professional codes or rules of conduct that set precisely such boundaries. Those who cross them risk not only their clients’ trust but also professional and legal consequences.

• No touch that goes beyond what is professionally necessary. Not longer, not differently, not more often.
• No comments about the appearance of feet that have nothing to do with the work.
• No photographs unless they are professionally necessary, agreed upon and documented.
• No private contact with clients that arises from professional contact.
• No exploitation of trust. Anyone who treats people in a vulnerable situation bears special responsibility.

06 · Sexuality and everyday life

Supervision and exchange

In some professions, such as therapy or care work, there is supervision. This is a protected setting in which professionals can discuss difficult situations. You do not have to talk about your fetish there. But if a situation has unsettled you, it is good to have a place where you can raise it.

07 · Sexuality and everyday life

When you should assess yourself honestly

If you notice that you can no longer reliably maintain your professional boundaries, that your work repeatedly tempts you internally or that you struggle with feelings of guilt or shame after work, that is an important signal. You should then honestly consider whether the activity is right for you in the long term, and seek support from a professional in psychotherapy or sex therapy. This is not a defeat. It is responsibility towards yourself and the people who trust you.

08 · Sexuality and everyday life

What remains

A foot fetish does not rule out a profession involving feet. But it requires a clear internal separation. Those who take their professional role seriously and give their fetish a consensual private framework can combine the two without anyone being harmed.